Expectations

I mean, here I am, sitting here, not knowing what to expect.

They all told me I should get medicated or whatever to deal with my 'issues'.

But I hope that this outlet be my medication, that it be the source of turning my life around and doing things that I enjoy doing, or atleast think that I'll enjoy doing: I won't know till I try right?

Like, going to the beach and tanning. Eating well and gaining some muscle, reclaiming my confidence that I once had at raging levels.

Playing tennis, sailing, fine dining, making and having cocktails

Wow, I feel like such a loser that I just talk about these things but never do them.

Like, I don't know what;s the issue? Money, like I don;t have any money to call my own.
Probably, that's one of the cases. Not knowing how to act in different situations and differing circumstances, feeling what could be labelled as anxiety. All these things that were not an 'issue' before. I remember the days of getting excited. I mean, I would love to get excitement back, excitement that would over power any limiting beleifs and thoughts.

Understanding, thats another thing I would like to have, an understanding of the possibilities, and that yes, I can do these things, and that yes, there are people that would appear when I want them to so that I am enabled to do these things that I would like to do.

Okay, I'm done rambling again, I don't even know how to market this thread, who to market to, who my target audience is etc.

Hopefully all these things will come together so that I figure it all out, so that all this does not go to waste, and I am enabled.

Peace, Love

Finest Ultimate